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Its all about me

my ranting and raving about anything and everything

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September 7th, 2009

(no subject)

people are fucking asses. can't u see that i have this huge truck so why r u going to park right on my back bumper when i am pulled up as close as i can to the car in front of me on the street so that i am not blocking the fire hydrent but no some ass comes and parks right on the bumper of the truck..they are lucky i didn't back my truck right the hell over ur stupid little shit box car. so yeah got to love dumb ass mass holes.   so we have had a really quiet day today. i was hoping we were going to be able to go out on the harley but it decided to have a dead battery today so we didn't go anywhere. now we are waiting for bump to get home so that we can order some pizzas and relax while watching twilight and NCIS....god i love  NCIS......but i still have yet to see abby's damn farting hippo...i have been dying to see it but i haven't seen it yet.

well other then that i am just recovering from an over night in the er which sucked to all hell. and not i am just dealling with getting my sromach back to normal..it was all screwy for a couple of days now

September 4th, 2009

its been a while

So it has been a while since i have been here. well my life has been a bit out of control but things are better now.
I lost my job...shitty part of things lately..
I am living with my man jay...earlier then we planed but we are dealing.
it just scares me how fast things changed but we are doing ok so things are ok.

i am enjoying things as they are. i love being with jay when he come home from work.
i love going to bed at night next to him i love waking up to him in the morning. i love cooking dinner with him.
i enjoy his son jim. i enjoy him very much. he is a great kid. i wish i understood his special needs in school a little better so i can find a better way to help him out.
i hope with me being here things will help out a bit between him and jay a bit more.
they love each other don't get me wrong but they do tend to fight sometimes and just piss each other off. i hope someday things like that will get better. i would like for them to get along better before me and jay have a baby. which is something we plan to happen someday down the road.
we will see how things go.

other then that things are great.
other then job hunting i can't complain about anything. god i hate job hunting it feels like i can never find something.
but my crohn's is doing great....haven't had an issue with it for over a year now. things seem quiet so far with the cervical cancer which is great.
but we are keeping close eyes on it all

well for now
peace love and chicken grease

August 17th, 2009

i usually love my job. i love the kids i work with and i love being able to be part of their lives and to add my print to it all.
but i am seriously at my wits end with this family.
i came to them in february after have to wait months to start because the mom couldn't get her shit straight and things just kept changing.
well i finally started and things seemed to sail along great. i get along with the 2 kids great i enjoy them and i get along with their dad. but lately things just don't seem to be the same
all of a sudden i have a 6 yr old boy who will not listen ignores me completely and for some damn reason will not stop pooping himself. i am sick of it. the 3 yr old lil girl is throwing fits left and right and doing nothing bur crying and whining and and tattling and just plain out throwing tantrums.
sure i am used to kids doing things like this but it is getting beyond the norm. and every time i talk to their dad about it he says he will talk to them and see what the deal is and nothing improves or the fact that i leave for the weekend to go to my man's house cuz lets face it we all need time to ourself. and i come back and the same dishes in the sick r waiting to go in the dishwasher that was running when i left friday night and the dishwasher hasn't even been unlocked to be opened at all.
i signed on to be a nanny not a made. i never signed on to cook for the family but i took over cooking 2 nights a week with out a problem and i mean i am going on over 2 weeks with out getting any new and clean cloths for the kids which is his responsiblity to was and fold ot give to me to put away but i haven't gotten any of it.

ugh i can't wait till it is December and i can move out of here and into Jay's house and find another job. cuz this is just annoying

August 3rd, 2009

blissfully happy

I am soo incredibly happy it makes me giddy.
here is the scoop since i haven't been here in a while to update.
i met this guy PJ we started to date then he got cold feet or as he said wasn't ready for the whole commitment/relationship thing and he ran. so i said the hell with him and started talking to this other guy that i had previously chatted with a few times.
well let me tell you Jay turned out to be a peach...one of a kind the best of the bunch. he is totally the best guy i have known in a really long time and i mean out of my friends to. so we have been spending as much of our free time together that we can.
this past weekend we went on a harborcruise in boston with this band hypercane oh my god it was a great day. then yesterday we were going to go to the speedway and watch my friend Rich race but because it was supposed to rain we went horseback riding early instead and i was totally bummed that it bearly rained and i bailed out on my friend for nothing. but we are going to rehoboth state fair next weekend to see him so that is ok i guess.

but Jay is just a great guy. has a real head on his shoulders and isn't a bum. he has a steady job, a cute little house he is fixing up, 2 of the cutest mutts. and had a great kid. oh and to top it all off which i love just like u wouldn't bellieve he has a harley   oh i love that road king..lol.

welll go to run got to go get the kids out of the tub before the kill each other....lol


July 13th, 2009

omg men fucking sux

all i feel like saying right now is men fucking suck they are just full of a bunch of mind games so i say fuck u all.....


July 10th, 2009

happy times are here again

So I met this really great guy. He messaged me randomly the other day on Myspace. well we started chatting then talking on the phone. last night we met face to face for the first time last night. and omg it was great. he is great. i was so comfortable with him and just clicked with him it was great. and the face that i am soo attracted to him also it is great. he is so my type....he is a bigger guy but not fat. he has muscle too. he is tattooed which i love. he likes sport which is cool but its not like he is obssessed with them like some guys i have meet lately have been. he is taller then me...but he just gets me makes me feel cared for and all that
well i think i might need to hog tie these kids and throw them in closests....i mean omg...trinity is climbing furniture and practicily killing herself doing it
this is going to be a long ass summer i can see it already

July 5th, 2009

It has been a hard, well maybe i should say weird few days for me. I have been missing rudy so much it hurts. but i don't really get to talk to him during the week and i know that and am used to it....well mostly. with my birthday being in a few days i think i am just getting really lonely. i am tired of having to spend so much time alone. i miss talkin to him everyday. i miss him period. i am going to the speedway with some friends today but i am just not too sure i really want to be alone. i know i am not alone....today...i will be with friends friends that i love and care about and some new friends. i have been hanging out with a girl a went to high school with who i wasn't friends with in high school she was just there u know. lol
but the weird thing is she is married to my ex...but it doesn't feel odd to be friends with him it just feels weird to be friends with her.  i couldn't stand her in high school.  she isn't soo bad now. but it is still kinda wierd. i miss having a large group of friends. but i don't have that anymore
to be honest right now i can truely say i only have like 2 true friends. and they are not alway around. i know it is hard for her with her son and him he is just i don't even know how to describe it.
i don't know what my problem is right now
other then it is about to be my 26th birthday in a few days. i am waiting for possibly bad news from the doctors tomorrow when i get the results of my biopsies. i am soo nowhere near where i would hope to be in my life. i am alone. no kids and my life it just doesn't seem to be all that great.
i love my job i love the kids that i care for. but when i was holding eric and angel's baby last night he just made me what one of my own. you know.
but i don't want to go through what jennilee has to go through with having to do it as a single parent but i don't want to do it as eric and angel do bearly likeing each other even if they are married.
welli am gonna start getting ready so i can get out of this damn funk

June 26th, 2009

I know i really don't have any friends that read this but i started it mainly as just a way to vent. and right now i am not too sure what to do. i have myself a bit of a pickle. i have been trying to start dating again. well i met a few good guys....
this one kid Brian is sweet n kind really talk which i like but he is a little on the geeky side and a little clingy so far and it is like he...oh i don't know just too not sure if it is a fit that will work for me in the long run.
i also been talking to this kid mark who is cool and hot my height. but he is a little on the demanding side...like he is trying to be my "master" i am not too sure how i feel about this and he seems to be more interested in sex then being in a relationship.
i have a date with this guy Ryan tomorrow night and he seems really nice and cool and i am hoping to see how that goes.
i am just not too sure what to do.
damn it i need some advice....i just don't know  who to turn to....
i miss all the friends i had.....but i don't miss the drama i used to deal with

June 24th, 2009

I have come to the conclusion that it is going to be a long ass summer with the kids if things don't change soon.  Damin has really got to start to listen. he is getting to be a bit rediculous. i am really starting to get upset with him and it seems like nothing i say or so changes the way he is acting right now.  This morning while i had trinity in the tub something caught my eye and there behind the toliet is a pair of his underwears from yesterday that he pooped in and hid...trying to keep from getting in trouble for not stopping playing to go to the bathroom and haveing to take and almost cold shower.
and just the lack of listening right now is enough to drive me nuts

well i think that is enough i have to go deal with them not wanting to nap

June 20th, 2009

life is a bit dull

so i have come to the conculsion that my social life is a little dull....ok well alot dull...i really need to get out and about and start living a bit. i am just not to sure how to get the ball rolling on it i mean most of my friends work during the day and have other halfs and all that good shit or they have kids and it is just harder for them to get out and about. i would love to get back into the dating circle but finding someone who is understand to my job and what not so far hasn't been an easy things to do. so yeah

if u know any cute nice single guys feel free to send them my way

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